Tuesday, April 17, 2007
there is a fact that i cant runaway with,
no matter what i do.
talking about running away,
i guess no one can help it.
everyone wants a shortcut,
or else there wont be such a word.
the fact is my feelings for her are still so strong.
i can bluff everyone!
but not myself, that she is still the only soul always lingering in my heart.
i told myself to help her and help myself by stop talking to her.
i will get an answer soon enough if i do that,
but is that what i truely want?
is that what is truely right?
i am a person with perseverance but no tenacity
i really dont know what i should do anymore.
i keep bluffing myself that i am on my way to get over it,
have i?
i told myself to lose weight,
im probably trying self comfort.
i told myself to hold it on, and she will be happy, it doesnt really matter what happens to me,
it does matters!
because i am facing someone that love me/once loved me,
i am not facing anyone else!
the mentality of trying to forget someone you love is bad enough.
having that person to tell u she enjoys not talking to you is worse.
where am i getting at?
what is my goal?
and what is my dream?
is the goal my dream? can i dream of reaching the goal?
my dream is to be with her again.
but probably thats not my goal.
so whats the whole purpose again?
i am moving on a treadmill.
my body moves against my will.
because my body listens to you,
more than having a brain of its own.
i hate myself.
keruirocks.
6:20 PM
