Saturday, June 16, 2007
the pursuit of happiness.
It is like walking a marathon on a stadium track.
there will be no ending point,
you just go back to where you started off.
rounding the track, you get to see the world in three hundred and sixty degrees.
and happiness may just be that instant you view the world in that particular moment.
once you missed it, you are on your way to square one.
and hope to catch it on your next lap.
sometimes, i don't understand the concept of this pursuit.
i am forever looking forward to reaching a goal.
and to think that i will attain happiness once reaching that goal.
never to realise that,
there is probably nothing in the end,
just that big red banner - "starting point"
and i never realise that what will be really making me happy, is actually the process.
and my impatient self, tends to push me to run through the laps,
hoping and hoping to reach out for the happiness that im looking for.
not knowing that the faster i run, the faster i am back at the starting point,
and the more i missed during the process.
i may have run pass so many moments,
that i didnt cherish.
so many moments that could have made my life more meaningful.
and one day, when age and fatigue set in,
i may just fall straight to the ground and die.
a wasted effort on the track.
-the end of marathon.
i kinda knew where this emptiness is coming from.
expectation.
i expect too much from everything.
and i will be disappointed more than anybody
and "relative".
this is the word that i have been hearing.
and not until now, while im typing this,
that i realise even happiness is relative.
i tend to link happiness with superficiality,
and with a high expectation i always have.
that is the killer ulimate combo.
i guess thats what making me feel bad about my life all the time.
maybe sometimes, i am already happy, but i choose not to.
well well, why am i making it more complicated than life already is.
meowmeow, stop missing her, or i will not buy you orh lua. (:
keruirocks.
10:00 PM
